Bruno praises the art of questioning:
"If you consider the putting of questions you will realize that no other mode of communication lets you express your interest so clearly. You want to know something, you want to test reactions, elicit opinions, criticize, praise, or provoke - communication in its purest form."
You can concentrate your persuasive powers through well-thought-out questions. Take, for example, the recruiting process - hiring employees. Most people spend time creating top-quality questions for the interview process. But, few create top-quality questions for the job posting process. I find that puzzling.
Questions can be used to 'influence'. Gideon tells the story of 2 monks, each hoping the Pope would allow them to smoke during prayer time. They both wrote letters to the Pope. The Pope allowed one to smoke but not both.
Why only one?
Here is how the 2 monks posed their questions:
- "May I smoke during prayers?"
- "May I pray while I am smoking?"
Whether the story is true or not, it provides a good example of how the wording of a question can influence the response.
Questions can be used to determine the motives of others and determine their sincerity. While I may be understating Gideon's thinking, it appears people who do a good job of listening to your questions (both listening to your words and registering your body language) are illustrating an interest in you, rather than a preoccupation with themselves.
Gideon divides questions into two main groups:
- Self-contained or closed-ended questions
- Open-ended questions
Here's a summary of how he describes these two types of questions.
Self-contained questions:
- Purpose: to get simple information - 'Yes' or 'No'
- Advantage: speed
- Disadvantage: they constrict the flow of conversation
- Danger: they can lead to a loss of control
Open-ended questions: these are framed so they can not be answered with 'Yes', 'No', or 'Maybe'.
- Purpose: to help keep the conversation flowing, show interest in the opposing position, and make use of the information at your disposal
- Advantage: you don't give up control
- Disadvantage: you are dependant on the other person's cooperation. If he or she is in a bad mood and gives monosyllabic answers you have nothing to go on. This approach is more time-consuming than asking self-contained questions.
- Beware: don't embark on a cross-examination. Don't bombard your discussion partner with questions. That would be counterproductive.
Gideon also writes about
goal-specific questions, which can be asked in either the open or closed style:
- Investigative questions: to acquire information and ideas, to help you decided how to proceed
- Deflecting questions: to redirect the conversation
- Association questions: to form mental connections
- Leading questions: to directly influence someone
- Conversational questions: to fill gaps in the conversation, to encourage the other person, and to set the mood
- Supplementary questions: to delve deeper or to get around evasive answer